The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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