Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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