Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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