So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
