Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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