where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
