My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
