***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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