Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
