I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
