I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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