Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
