so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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