just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
