why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
