Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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