Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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