The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
