you guys were way drunker than both of me
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
