Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
