No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
