it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
