Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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