just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
