the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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