he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
