love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
