i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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