gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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