He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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