I love black thongs
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
