Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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