Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
