Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
