Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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