he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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