I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
