Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ttyl tear gas
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
