im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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