I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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