dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
