i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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