maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
