CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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