Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
