this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
