Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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