I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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