There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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