Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
