Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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